Objection overruled
I was a young person that grew up in the care system, lived in care homes and was adopted twice into the same family. As I grew older my desire was to explore my birth history as I had no knowledge of who I was, or an understanding of why I was adopted twice, as it beggars belief – how do you get adopted twice. If you want to remarry you get divorced.
To date I have not found a law that annulled my first adoption, but that doesn’t mean my second adoption is illegal. Thereafter, my personal experience included;
- 3 name changes none of my choosing
- Different passports – different identities with different dates of birth
- 15 brothers and sisters, each set from each different family, viewed me differently.
- Found part of my birth family at age 24 years
- Still seeking birth father
- Still seeking heritage
- Still, in my opinion, the law does not protect adopted children sufficiently enough.
Both of my adoptions were unique — one a private arrangement, the other through the local authority. During the second adoption hearing, I understood that professionals had raised concerns about whether the adoption should proceed. However, despite those concerns, the Judge ultimately overruled them and granted the order. This should have been the closing chapter in my family life, but in reality, this is where raising my concerns at a national level began. Success in adoption can only be measured by the quality of life the child has in their adoptive placement, not when an adoption order has gone through the courts.
As a professional, I have spent my whole career working with children who are looked after by other people in different settings. I undertake voluntary work, and this has included facilitating ‘after support groups for adopted adults’. Through undertaking this work, I could not believe how many children were adopted into abusive families. It appears that when the Adoption Order is granted, authorities pull out, leaving the families to get on with their lives. I fully understand the adoption principle, and for children where it works and they live a happy family life, that is great. However, over the years, I have worked for various adoption charities in various roles, but my passion has always been with those adopted adults affected by their adoption. Please note this issue is not localized; it is a global issue. I became very concerned that UK law does not fully protect children once they have been adopted. Interestingly, the RSPCA, who place animals for adoption, do home checks on those animals once they have been adopted.
I considered the Law did not fully support children when they had been adopted and I felt the law needed to change. My issue was how to raise these concerns and who I raise them with. I am a regular person not affiliated or connected to people who were in a position to help. I decided to email every national newspaper and every national radio station asking if someone could hear the concerns. The only response I received was from Radio 4 Woman’s Hour who were interested in interviewing me. I attended this interview and sat with the then Director of Directors for Social Services who was discussing the overwhelming positive response from the National Adoption Week awareness and that over 8,000 potential adopters had expressed an interest in adopting a child. I expressed that there could be 8,000 pedophiles but they would never know. This interview lasted one hour and interestingly this caused a bit of a backlash. Radio 4 contacted me 2 weeks later to inform me that following that interview they were inundated with angry adopters, adopted adults wanting support and therefore needed to do a follow up session. This was great as it was raising a very difficult subject and making people have to address it.
Having no idea about how I raised awareness at the government level, I took the action;
- Emailed all national papers and radio stations
- Attended radio interviews
- Met with my MP locally
- Spoke at national conferences
- Attended parliament in order to meet the Health Minister for sensitisation
- Establish support groups for adopted adults
- Became trustee of a national charity at the time
- Wrote articles for Social Work Community Care; speaker at BAAf Conferences
- Wrote a book about my experiences for raising awareness of the issues.
- I ‘gate crashed’ European conferences and left articles on chairs. This led, at that time, the Chair for Social Europe calling me and becoming my mentor.
At the time I read a book called ‘what color is your parachute’ and this I felt gave me the confidence to believe in what I was doing and although I had absolutely no idea how to achieve what I want to achieve it provided a framework in which to follow. Sadly the Law has still not changed, however, it took women years to get the right to vote and even if campaigning provides small footsteps and a pathway for others to continue until the law changes, then it has all been worth doing. Personally speaking this will be a life long campaign until the law changes and children are afforded more support in their adoption placements should they need it. I hope that this article may have inspired you to pursue issues that concern you and that you can make a positive contribution and difference to whatever you consider needs to change.
At A.H. Lancer Consulting, we believe that every experience — personal or professional — can inspire positive change within children’s social care. Stories like this remind us why strong leadership, ethical decision-making, and compassionate practice remain at the heart of what we do.
If this article resonated with you, we invite you to explore how AHLC can help strengthen your service — from interview preparation and leadership development to safeguarding, safer recruitment, and training programmes that promote confident, child-centred practice.
Together, we can continue shaping a sector where every child’s safety, story, and future truly matter.
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